These past days I went to Queensway 3 times in row. Wth all with my long time friend pusi. Oops I meant Susi. Lols. Went to alter my jeans on the 1st trip. 2nd time was to collect and 3rd was to send another pair of jeans to be altered. 3rd time was today. Hai first jeans altered was small. Damn lah. Leg already so skinny still wear. Aiyoo. I'll be collecting the 2nd pair tommorrow. Hope won't be going alone. Maybe with Baby. Susi's not free tommorrow.

So today was mainly shopping for furniture with Hanisah and Susi. No soccer this weekend, BOO! Went to IKEA to browse and get stuffs. Noted down some products Hanisah wanted. She's moving to a rented room in a Condominium near Little India. Lols think of the place I won't ever live there. But hearing the price that she pays every month for rental change my mind immediately. $250 for a room in a Condo. Great deal hur? The owner is Hanisah's friend and he holds quite a handsome position. Standard Chartered manager of something. Its not for a branch. Its not the country. Its global. He travels around to work. Cool.

Oh yeah Hanisah manage to spend within her budget. Got the necessary stuffs. Bed, table, quilt, pillows, bed frame and so on. Will be very interested on how she will be for the next few months. Living on your own makes you be alone. You have to be totally dependent on yourself. Wish her all the best. I'll try to be there on Tuesday to help her move in but I have school, BOO!

Hmm I saw a superb replacement for the expensive converse white shoe I wanted to get. Its so much much cheaper and worth. Will buy it tommorrow hopefully. I'll degrade myself to cheap stuffs for now. Need to save money for bbq, Baby's birthday and for my self indulgence(s). I really want to buy the limited edition Casio couple watch. Baby wants it too. We both want it so bad. A pity we can't get it straight away. Have to save before it gets on onto our wrists. Hee

Will ask mum for money to get the jacket from Topman. Still in a dilemma cos there are a few designs to choose from. Wednesday will be meeting Baby since I don't have any school. Sentosa maybe? Lols oh fuck. I need to head to the gym tommorrow. So fucking pissed. I need discipline in working out. Why do I have to keep reminding myself? Where's the drive I had before? I never had to drag myself to the gym before. =[ I need motivation. LOTS OF IT

FUCK! I need a break to sort my mind out first. I really need it if not I'm really going crazy. I wish I could just get into a deep sleep. I don't wish to live life for this period of time. I find life meaningless right now.

I'm having my last spanish lesson tommorrow. Will be doing a presentation. Not sure of the topic though since its so open as long as it has to do with Spain. Thinking of doing food but I'll see how things go. Shan't be sleeping much tonight. I'll also be having spanish oral exam. This is the killer. If anyone were to miss tommorrow's class, he/she will fail the module for tommorrow's presentation and oral exam is worth 50%. Hope I'll be able to pass this module. If I fail, I'm doomed.

Had initially planned to go out with Baby tommorrow but her mum asked her out so we're not meeting. Sigh. I'm not feeling good right now. Spanish and disrupted plans is making tommorrow difficult for me. Sigh

Played soccer in the morning. Had no problems waking up. If only I could wake up for school the same way then I wouldn't be having warning letters in my mail to remind me not to miss anymore lessons. So ironic. Haha what the hell. We ended soccer forcefully because out of nowhere appeared bees. Lots of them! The nest was located on a tree just beside the street soccer court. They were buzzing like crazy. They weren't attacking or anything but looked like struggling to survive. The air was full of bees but all ended up on the soccer court floor.

We headed to the block nearby. Sat there and chatted before we made our way to Suhaimi's house. Across the road lay a sight, dead bees scattered. I'm still curious, what could have caused the bees to die? Fogging? We didn't see no smoke. Could be Hafeez kicked this guy's face which flung his spectacles on the floor and eventually his face bled. Just a minor cut. Maybe this caused the bees to be frantic. Maybe that guy was The BeeMan. LOL!

Watched "Wujud" at Suhaimi's house. Stupid show. Was not scary at all. Had to watch till the end since the prayers have to be completed. Was expecting something to scare the shit out of me and the guys. I nearly fell asleep. Boring! Watching George Bush wearing bikini and shaving his legs was much much scarier. Oops not that I've watched him do that. Lols but him doing that? Ooo scary.

Sorry Baby for I was late to meet you. So sorry. Hope I make it up with the time we spent together today. Went to Far East searching for Baby's footwear for her prom. Decided to find something simple and normal. We had our dinner at the Indonesian restaurant again. Spicy as usual. Could have avoided the chilli but it was too syiok! Even when my drink was empty, I still plunged the chicken into the fiery spicy chilli. Torturing but worth the experience. Maybe should bring James and bros there. Must toughen James up. If he could handle that, then I guess we don't have to worry about him in NS. Haha. Get ur throat well James and then we head there makan. Haha maybe on 8 Dec since we planning to club that night. Haha Yeah my birthday is reaching. Finally could be 18. Sweet 18.

Chatting with Baby now. Oh yeah tried out the jacket at Topman again. Woots took a picture. Not gonna upload though. Read magazine on the train home. Saw this Casio couple's watch. Damn nice and its white! Couldn't find the picture. Will find out the price tommorrow. I'm not attending 3-5pm class. Will be meeting Baby and go out. Hee 1st time skipping that lesson. So no worries. Hmm I'm turning in early tonight. Super duper exhausted. Haha. =] Oh shit I haven't book the Bbq pit yet. Hope its still vacant.

Finally weekends are here. What a week. With the weekends, I can play soccer and hit the gym. Baby is having her co camp till tommorrow afternoon. Sunday we'll be going out, hopefully. Damn I'm out of cash already. Hope mum will increase my monthly allowance if not I seriously have to consider having a weekend job.

Yesterday had prayers for my late grandfather. Still can't believe he has passed away and a week at that. A week passed so fast. Soon I'll be a year older. Oh yah I noticed that alot of places are having Christmas theme and spirit. What the hell my birthday is not even over yet they are thinking of Christmas. LOls not that my birthday has that much of significance anyway.Oh yeah yesterday after the prayers I went to Boon Lay Secondary. Its been ages since I set foot in it. Haha thanks James for the small treat. Met Baby. Miss her so much.

I'm waiting for mum to buy food home. Argh she's taking forever. =[

Today schools sucks as usual. Didn't watch finish the Arsenal match. Slept a while before I headed to school. Was abit late. Much much better than before. Haha this Tuesday was much much better than before. Haha things are improving. Hope it will keep improving. Met Baby after school. Went to IMM to have our dinner. Had chicken rice and rojak. We walked around and took the free shuttle bus back to Boon Lay interchange. I slept during the journey back. Very very tired since I had little sleep this morning. Went to book the pit but the RC member told me to come back tommorrow since the lady in charge of booking is sick. So headed home to blog. Find that blogging relieves me. I'm not going to hold back my feelings during blogging. =]

Just when things were getting better for me, one by one have to spoil it all. fuck u faggots. Get out of my face!

EDITED

Lols. Been thinking wether really want to make the Bbq or not. Haha Guess no choice have to go ahead with the plan. Would not want to disappoint my friends who are anticipating it. Haha IF there are who are anticipating. Problem is my mum said she isn't free on that day to cook. Have to plead her to cook. If not have to find replacements. Haha next I'm thinking is my grandmother. Haha Her cooking rocks too you know. If not how you think my mum get her cooking skills from? Lols I'm also in the dilemma of choosing between the caterers, BBQ wholesale or BBQ house. My previous experiences were from BBQ wholesale. Average tasting, servings are okay. Thought of trying the new caterer(cheaper also >.< but limited choices). Cheaper means not I am stingy but means that I could get more food with the savings from BBQ house. Haha shall decide after I book the Bbq pit tonight. Suddenly feel like eating Mee Siam. Argh damn hungry. Shall cook some food. Hotdogs and scrambled eggs anyone? =D

4 Eggs, 3 hotdogs, some tuna mayo( wanted to eat with bread but no bread ='[), apple and cabbage salad( the apple tastes great! the cabbage wasn't crunchy BOO!). Lastly Chocolate drink from Vitasoy. Haha plus mayo and lots of chilli sauce. Very filling would give it a rating of 6.5/10. Average. Will do better next time? LOLs

Let's not argue. I'm so looking forward to the next time we meet. I'll cherish the time well. I miss you so much Baby.

Please let my mood get better. Let me have a great day.

I'm waiting for the Arsenal game later. Really can't seem to sleep. Boo. I want to sleep but can't. I'm afraid of sleeping now. For fear I might wake up late and miss class. Hais Sian

Before ur O's I felt lonely but I understand you had to study. What about now? Fuck! The last time we had time together was last Wednesday. Till now I've yet to see you let alone be with you. All these fucking things I'm going through, I need you now more than ever. I don't ask much from you but please just set aside some time for me. I'm breaking down. I need guidance. I need you. Damn it if I wasn't so desperate, I wouldn't ask you to meet me earlier. I'm constantly needing your attention, your love, your affection. Everything didn't go right for me these days. So could you please fucking put aside some time for me. Its a desperate plea from me. DESPERATE! Is that too much to ask from you?

Today is the most frustrating day I'll ever have. Firstly I woke up late and missed the lesson that I could not miss anymore. Got ready for afternoon class despite wanting to get an MC and not go attend school. Argh thought of it all the way till the interchange. Decided to go to school. Even after making my decision, I still wasn't in the mood to attend school. I was messy today, didn't do my hair, didn't shave my facial hair. The fact I purposely didn't bring my laptop to school when my lessons needed them showed how much I didn't want to go to school. I felt lethargic. I dragged my feet to class. I was lifeless. The pain of going through something which you didn't want to in the first place is so agonising.

I handed in the death certificate of my grandfather to the office to process my absence on Friday. When I finished school, I headed home immediately. I wanted to sleep on the comfort of my bed real bad. The journey home seemed never ending. Then I remembered I forgot to write my name and particulars at the back of the death certificate so that document would be identified and linked to me. Aww fuck. Just got alot worst, I ate my dinner and dirtied my sarong and hard rock cafe shirt with sambal. The smell of it on fabric is so disgusting. Argh. I'm having this never felt before ache on the left side of my back. Its painful and restricts me lying down without having to groan in pain. Argh why can't it get any better. Worst still tommorrow is TUESDAY. It will be a long long day. I doubt I'll be able to go through tommorrow without having to be putting a black face and throwing tantrums. Argh I just need a break after what has happened. Where can I get one? Weekends please arrive fast.

I kissed his forehead and bid my final goodbye to my "Tok"(grandfather). He didn't reply me for he passed away this morning at 1am. I left the hospital at 10.30pm yesterday. I commented on Tok's breathing yesterday. The intervals between each breath was quite long. He was still breathing so I took nothing of it. Never did I knew 3 hours later he would heave his last breath. Could I have taken the initiative to find a doctor to check up on my grandfather? I was even the last to go off. I stood there just looking at him. I certainly will miss him. Went to friday prayer near the cemetery at Jalan Bahar. After which proceeded with the burial. Left after uttering prayers and goodbyes. I'm worried for my grandmother. She will be hurt most. Will visit her more frequent now. Don't want her to fall sick and feel lonely.

Tommorrow I'll hit the gym. Might be going Queensway tommorrow evening with Irfaan. Maybe Susi will tag along too, if she doesn't feel too sick. Hope she gets well soon.

I haven't had a decent sleep since this morning 3am. So I'm going to sleep soon. Takecare all =]

Damn I have to go to school tommorrow. Oh fuck. 2 hours break!

Baby's going to Popular for job interview tommorrow. Hope she will get the job. Hee.

Went to the hospital. So many relatives. At the near end, there was this silence that could make you think you're deaf. Everyone just stood silent and looked at my grandfather. Hope he will get well soon. =]

BEWARE LONG POST
Today was tiring but hell lot of fun. Morning I met Baby and we went to Suntec to watch The Game Plan.

Damn cool movie. Loving too. Very cute. Loads of laughter.Worth watching. The Rock looks so different from WWE. Haha the ballet teacher is so hot. Lols =X seriously. After the movie Baby and I had Burger King for lunch. Saw Percie and her friends. Then Baby and I spent some time sitting at Marina Square for abit. After which, we headed down to Vivocity to check out my long lost love, the Topman Bag. Just couldn't resist having another look. I'm still unsure wether I really want it. Think that its too big. Other replacements from other stores are either too expensive or there's just some tiny little detail that I don't like. Haha see how it goes. We mrt-ed back to Boon Lay where Baby accompanied me as I wait for Susi. Thanks Baby for the wonderful morning. Hee =] I'm so happy when we're together.

As Susi reached, Baby went off to meet her friends for movie. Lols this time Bee Movie. Susi and me trained down to Orchard. Went to Isetan to look for Hanisah and Irfaan. Boy, it has been like ages since I last met Hanisah. Saw Hyena and Julien at Isetan. Lols I didn't say Hi afraid they might not know me. Anyway, I saw this great cool looking jacket at TOPMAN @ Isetan. Woots another on my wishlist. Priority I guess but its quite expensive I guess. $133 or $113(by Susi). I'm dead sure its $133 though.

Tried it on. Should have taken picture. Damn. Susi said I have to bulk up more to match up to the style of that jacket. I looked in the mirror and her comments are dead true! I'm spurred by her comments. Will work harder. I hope to get that jacket by mid next month. After my Bbq on 1st Dec, then I can focus saving for the jacket. Looks similar to this.

Far East was next. Highlight there were, nearly got ripped off by tailor for alterations for my jeans and I saw HUI QI with Farhana. Why would I want to alter my 2 jeans for $30 and its only mini alterations. Problem was I discussed with the uncle until the deal was done when Irfaan reminded me to ask how much it costs. Uncle replied $15. Okay I thought it was for both jeans but hell no! Ended up saying sorry to him alot of times because I had to pull out of the offer. Hai felt so bad. He even lowered the price to $24 but I still couldn't afford it. Sorry uncle.

Then when I was buying some tees for Kelyn and Hui Qi. One slapped on my shoulder and POOF appeared this bubbly face in front of me, Hui Qi. So fate that I was preparing to pay for her present that very moment. Haha gave her straightaway the tee. Haven't got to meet Kelyn to pass hers. Maybe Friday.

=]

Walked around Taka and Heeren. Hanisah bought stuffs. Spending spree that bitch. All because she's not schooling and working as a bartender, I think. All I know she works in a pub. Haha I was sarcastic to her frequently throughout the whole journey. Why? For a reason. I hope you get it. I try my very best to not to force you. Just feel that we're at the age of being adults. We should know what's best for us right now. That fucking bastard ain't not worth one bit. You have a mind of your own. I leave it for you to decide for its not my fucking life. Its yours for all I care. You wish to continue corrupt your life by all means do so. I guess I have done enough and I have said my piece. I'll stop here.

Going gym tommorow. Then shall be at the hospital the whole time after that. =]

What in the world gave you the balls to talk to me that way? You faggot. You're in no position to lecture me you useless piece of shit. Take a look in the mirror, worthless son of a bitch.


Just got news that my grandfather is in critical condition. Hope he will recover soon. Wake up soon grandpa. God, please look over him.

Tuesdays utterly sucks! Worst day of the week for me if school is on. That lady lecturer keeps getting on my nerves. She didn't let us off early when we finished what was supposed to be done. She added enhancements which were optional. I was so bloody damn tired yet had to stay full 3 hours in the class.
A picture taken in that hellish class.

Got a call from mum saying that my grandpa has been admitted to NUH. Not really sure why though, mum casually said grandpa has lung problems. I've yet to visit him though. I headed straight home from school. I'm totally exhausted with school. I'll visit him when I have time tommorrow, hopefully. I hope nothing serious happens to him. I pray to God for his speedy recovery.

Just came back from soccer "training". Haha not exactly training but light kicking of the soccer ball. Been a normal activity for me and susi. Yeah you read it right, Susimarina! Speaking of her, I'm going out with her and Hanisah on Wednesday. Not sure wether Irfaan and Syafiq are coming along. Wednesday, I'll be skipping school and meeting Baby in the morning. Will watch The Game Plan and then lunch plus hunting for her graduation night attire. Not forgetting to get my hair cut! Too thick for me to style right now. The right time to get it cut. After spending quality time with Baby after which I shall meet Susi and Hanisah.

My mouth is itching to let out tonnes of nagging and scolding. I won't regret giving a tongue lashing on Wednesday. I'll make damn sure that she will get my point for good. If I see that guy on Wednesday, I'll ask her to choose. Its either your friends or that worthless son of a bitch. Oops better not lash it out here. Keep it till Wednesday.

Oh yeah my bbq will be on 1st December. Shall book next week and reconfirm again. Tommorow I'm having 4 hours with the lecturer who irritates like hell. Argh tommorow will not be a good day but I'm looking forward to Wednesday. Takecare all my friends. Hope all are fine. May sickness and misfortune be avoided. =]